There’s no chance that I stayed up all night last night reading a trashy novel and eating an entire party size bar of chocolate in bed. Okay, there’s a slight chance. There’s also a slim chance that when I stumbled to the bathroom this morning in a late night, drunk on chocolate, shriveled pea brain from bad fiction hangover and closed the medicine cabinet door I jumped at the sight of myself and almost choked on my toothbrush. I was covered in dark brown spots. I did a quick mental checklist of diseases that I could have contracted while I slept and of insects that could have invaded my bed. Then I realized that the spots were melted crumbs of chocolate. There’s no chance that I ate one to confirm. Shit, okay, there’s a pretty good chance. #KevinsWINNING