In Memorandum

Fat Man, just hanging out with friends.

Fat Man, just hanging out with friends.

Toby “Fat Man” Eikleberry died Wednesday, August 19, 2015 after finally succumbing to forces of nature when when a long held crack in his butt separated from his tang and fell dramatically into a grill basket full of asparagus. He fought the crack courageously for more than five years and, in his final moments, was surrounded by loving family. He was almost 20 years old.

He leaves behind his dear friend and confidant of 20 years, Pam; his begrudging companion, Kevin; his chums Big and Little A and many beloved friends. He was predeceased by Tate “Little Boy” Eikleberry – his companion of 15 years.

Fat Man arrived early Christmas morning in 1995 in an excited rush of wrapping paper and late night alcoholic cider induced glee. He was the first Christmas present that Kevin ever gave to Pam and it was love at first sight.

In his early years, Fat Man tirelessly worked alongside his companion through the trials and tribulations of a first kitchen. Often misused, he never complained, happy just to be enveloped in the warm cocoon of comfort food. As the years went by, though, he grew stronger and the love between him and his family glowed as brightly as the patina of his handle.

After cutting his teeth on the elementary hacking of a new cook, he progressed to skilled dicing and precision deboning. He grew faster with time, quickly becoming the go-to guy when time was short and hunger threatened his loved ones. Fat Boy could always be trusted–his spine a courageous tenderizer, his bolster an efficient crusher, his tang a warm reminder of his quality and the strength he could bring to any task.

Fat Man had a passion for garlic. He was known to sometimes pass a quiet afternoon lovingly and methodically separating the skins from the cloves of head after fragrant head without ever getting bored. He loved the sight of a towering pyramid of papery garlic skins. He was also great fun–always willing to play the fool and act as a karaoke microphone when loud kitchen singing was called for.

He will be greatly missed, his loss a gaping hole in the knife block of our hearts.

The memorial will take place this evening in his family home where his body will be laid to rest in a bed of garlic. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you add two extra cloves to whatever you cook tonight and smile in memorandum of Fat Man.

About peik

What's to say? I'm a chronic fun seeker and life marrow sucker. I live in an ancient brick house in a darling town with my perfect and tolerant husband, my two amazing teenagers (The Giant and The Ginger) and two blue Danes (Oliver and Periwinkle). A lover of obscure roadside attractions and museums of oddity, I travel, write, laugh, make friends, write letters, sometimes run, eat great food and drink good whiskey. I've never had a bad journey and every single day is my grandest adventure.
This entry was posted in confessions of the Weird and Unashamed, Just Being Me, Lick the Bowl and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to In Memorandum

  1. We have a set of Henckels that has to be about the same age and needs retiring also. The day we bought them, as the nice lady at the counter was boxing them up, our Fat Boy struck through the box and cut the poor women. I know now that we will have to be a bit clandestine on our replacement or I am sure to get it the next time I do the dishes.

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